My Pandemic Love Letter

Well it may have taken a pandemic to finally get this blog going. Something I have wanted to do for a decade or more. I have always had something to say, some perspective to share. I simply wasn't sure about putting it out into the universe publicly. Those silver linings I keep looking for may have come through in the middle of the night, more like early morning actually, 5:45am to be exact. 

Yet another night where I couldn't sleep, my mind drifting for hours and I did what I shouldn't do when you can't sleep: reach for my phone and look up random things and note the thoughts locked in my head.  You see, I have a confession to make: 2020 was supposed to be a BIG year for me and now it feels BIG for very different, uncertain reasons. However, back to that former BIG thing.

You see, I've wanted to be my very own client for quite some time now. As much as it pains me to write this because there have been so many amazing clients over the years I'll fondly remember forever, I've lived through a good share of stressful, exhausting projects too and I've grown tired. Very tired. Three years since experiencing terrible vertigo in combination with vestibular migraines, I have been pouring from an empty cup.

Figuring that all out and trying to find a better balance in my life, I had a game plan figured out. I was no longer going to limit myself in billing my expertise based on hourly rates when there was only 24 hours in a day. I was going to continue this way for this final year only for clients who truly appreciated my time and what I bring to the design process. I was going to phase in my own personal passion projects in what was supposed to be a stellar 2020, reflecting interiors based on my own design sense, uninterrupted by budget limitations, beating to my own drum. Then COVID19 happened.  

This is a pandemic love letter to myself if you will. What do you do when you have a very clear vision? A path made clear with your very own road map and then this unprecedented invisible virus comes along turning the world upside down, dizzying you all over again and you feel you may have lost your way? Well, if you are me, you remind yourself that you are stronger than you think. You affirm that you will be driven by your passion, led by love and light, not fear and darkness. You make a very public declaration of your plans with this blog, even if you aren't sure of where you are going. I always say hope is not a method. Yet right now we need hope more than ever to get through these challenging times and so hopeful I will be. NM, Xx